It's not the presence but the feeling
Intoxicating in such a way the body goes weak
The words trail to the floor and everything goes numb
You collapse in pieces as if gravity is holding you down
Nothing is clear but the echo of glass breaking in the background
Tears forming to the face like extra skin
Eyes blurring and each breathe going deeper and deeper
No soul in the world to hear
No music no warmth to touch upon
Ignorance
Screaming out denying the facts
Pretending things don't mean what they seem
To wash away the memory of such regret
Create your own and be bound and broken there
A glitch and every reminder
Sets you back t
And in moments I'd be completely cut open
From the inside out
And your eyes engrave their mark
In my mind
The solace of things that never come
I shame myself to never think
To never own up to that good enough
I cover it all in shame
To forget your face
To forget feeling or touching upon that happiness
So brief and rewarding
You never asked to take
Never took but gave
I felt small and unbelievable
Just being in your presence
You made me a kid again
Just staring into your eyes I felt like home
I felt safe
And being with you I felt like a better person
Like I could accomplish anything
So brief
Heaven was any category found i
One day we'll recognize the remnants of who we once were
Shaking
This comatose state I wish to never wake
Blind me with anger
Blind me with lies
I sink to the bottom to find my own
She's whispering was it worth it
I'd do anything for that day in the sun again
And as the fireworks light
You'd smile down at me
And I'd kiss the lines for all their worth
If I had to be anybody's fool
I enjoyed every second of our games
I enjoyed our walks through the park
Taking in the February rain
Heaven was at my doorstep before it disappeared
To feel again was worth more than you'll ever know
Even as I hid in my own snow covered epitome
I fe
I hope we're all just jesters by csunshineart, literature
Literature
I hope we're all just jesters
Temples they built to ruin
I'm chasing sand as it falls through my fingers
The lights ahead are blazing
My breath is stuck in my throat
My lips are dry and chapped
Disassemble
I'm tearing and scraping asphalt from my arms
Echoing laughter going way beyond insane
The monsters are screaming
Comrade fellow
Play in the flames
Play with the needles and knives
You circumvent reasons with lies
I'm demolishing all sense of security
We're blanketing towns with false hope
Take it all away
My sense of self is bleeding in the river
My eyes are blind and my blood is thicker
Rumaging through memories of what once was
Could never be again
Daisy the answers are lying in question
And the moon is so bright I feel that its blinding
Rupturing the skin
She's sinking further into oppression
Making sense with little means
Tidal waves in slow streams
The roads are gold and yellow
I take it mask after mask after mask
Don't try to pretend
Diamonds are in the sunlight
Showering fold after fold
And we're awakening
With blind eyes and silver beds
We're awakening
To the moment it all makes sense
Trumpets blaring in the background
A sea of regret
Sinking into the water
Her dress is all wet
Sinking and soaking
Her dress is all wet....
Smile like I did with you by csunshineart, literature
Literature
Smile like I did with you
I lay in bed wrapped up in the figments of you
My head nestled in your chest
I'm kissing pieces of you and I can't stop
Throughout the night my thoughts lay in wake of you
You touch my skin so gently
I shake and never want to close my eyes again
Dreams were never so blissful
I'd take a number to wait for another day
You bring me closer
Your scent overwhelms me
Hoping tomorrow will never come
Heaven was so close in my arms
Your eyes so sincere and warm
I'd give it all up for more time in this sun
Blissful states mixed with euphoria
You held me gently and I was lost in the night air
Making love it felt so safe
Staring down at m
A drink away
It drowns out my thoughts
Plagued with the image over and over again
My soul smiles but I corrode
Shatter and become misformed
Light is misleading
I'm reaching for air again and again
My dreams make it worse
Memories they fill my head
Fears deeper than trenches
Barely touching the core
I'm sailing out to the edge and I find myself falling
I'm screaming out for a sign and all I hear are echoes
Dancing into the night
I'm fine
My chest hurts
Aching
I'm taking in thoughts in every direction
We layed in the grass and you kissed me
Everything gained perspective
I was moved in a way that kept me breathless
Still
Pa
If only alcohol caused amnesia by csunshineart, literature
Literature
If only alcohol caused amnesia
And tonight I hope I don't dream of you
Dream of all the pain this has put me through
Tonight I make a toast to you
I drank away the feelings I felt for you
I drink away the anger and depression
I drink away all I knew of you
And god give me that bliss
That amnesia shall befall me and I forget
A smile and a laugh
A touch and a kiss
And you enter my dreams
And I wake up the more miserable
At least if I could get you out of my head
At least if I could do that much
I wish to have never felt for you
The things I did
I wish they would all bundle up and burn away
And I try to forget
I force your pictures out
I trash and discard.
I lost my heart in the bay
In seas of regret
I step back and stare at what I've done
And it's all the same
Plays over in my head
I feel the shame
Wash over as it sets
Dim days now
Markings of what I've done
Staring in the mirror is so much fun
I peel and peel away
Get lost in the emptiness inside
I shatter and control
I'm bleeding from the insides
Shaking I crumble transfixed
Body moving but I'm choking on all this shit
This monster I've become
I don't care anymore
It's all the same
They all feed the same
Who was I
To ever think that I was anything more than a stupid game....
It's not the presence but the feeling
Intoxicating in such a way the body goes weak
The words trail to the floor and everything goes numb
You collapse in pieces as if gravity is holding you down
Nothing is clear but the echo of glass breaking in the background
Tears forming to the face like extra skin
Eyes blurring and each breathe going deeper and deeper
No soul in the world to hear
No music no warmth to touch upon
Ignorance
Screaming out denying the facts
Pretending things don't mean what they seem
To wash away the memory of such regret
Create your own and be bound and broken there
A glitch and every reminder
Sets you back t
And in moments I'd be completely cut open
From the inside out
And your eyes engrave their mark
In my mind
The solace of things that never come
I shame myself to never think
To never own up to that good enough
I cover it all in shame
To forget your face
To forget feeling or touching upon that happiness
So brief and rewarding
You never asked to take
Never took but gave
I felt small and unbelievable
Just being in your presence
You made me a kid again
Just staring into your eyes I felt like home
I felt safe
And being with you I felt like a better person
Like I could accomplish anything
So brief
Heaven was any category found i
One day we'll recognize the remnants of who we once were
Shaking
This comatose state I wish to never wake
Blind me with anger
Blind me with lies
I sink to the bottom to find my own
She's whispering was it worth it
I'd do anything for that day in the sun again
And as the fireworks light
You'd smile down at me
And I'd kiss the lines for all their worth
If I had to be anybody's fool
I enjoyed every second of our games
I enjoyed our walks through the park
Taking in the February rain
Heaven was at my doorstep before it disappeared
To feel again was worth more than you'll ever know
Even as I hid in my own snow covered epitome
I fe
I hope we're all just jesters by csunshineart, literature
Literature
I hope we're all just jesters
Temples they built to ruin
I'm chasing sand as it falls through my fingers
The lights ahead are blazing
My breath is stuck in my throat
My lips are dry and chapped
Disassemble
I'm tearing and scraping asphalt from my arms
Echoing laughter going way beyond insane
The monsters are screaming
Comrade fellow
Play in the flames
Play with the needles and knives
You circumvent reasons with lies
I'm demolishing all sense of security
We're blanketing towns with false hope
Take it all away
My sense of self is bleeding in the river
My eyes are blind and my blood is thicker
Rumaging through memories of what once was
Could never be again
Daisy the answers are lying in question
And the moon is so bright I feel that its blinding
Rupturing the skin
She's sinking further into oppression
Making sense with little means
Tidal waves in slow streams
The roads are gold and yellow
I take it mask after mask after mask
Don't try to pretend
Diamonds are in the sunlight
Showering fold after fold
And we're awakening
With blind eyes and silver beds
We're awakening
To the moment it all makes sense
Trumpets blaring in the background
A sea of regret
Sinking into the water
Her dress is all wet
Sinking and soaking
Her dress is all wet....
Smile like I did with you by csunshineart, literature
Literature
Smile like I did with you
I lay in bed wrapped up in the figments of you
My head nestled in your chest
I'm kissing pieces of you and I can't stop
Throughout the night my thoughts lay in wake of you
You touch my skin so gently
I shake and never want to close my eyes again
Dreams were never so blissful
I'd take a number to wait for another day
You bring me closer
Your scent overwhelms me
Hoping tomorrow will never come
Heaven was so close in my arms
Your eyes so sincere and warm
I'd give it all up for more time in this sun
Blissful states mixed with euphoria
You held me gently and I was lost in the night air
Making love it felt so safe
Staring down at m
A drink away
It drowns out my thoughts
Plagued with the image over and over again
My soul smiles but I corrode
Shatter and become misformed
Light is misleading
I'm reaching for air again and again
My dreams make it worse
Memories they fill my head
Fears deeper than trenches
Barely touching the core
I'm sailing out to the edge and I find myself falling
I'm screaming out for a sign and all I hear are echoes
Dancing into the night
I'm fine
My chest hurts
Aching
I'm taking in thoughts in every direction
We layed in the grass and you kissed me
Everything gained perspective
I was moved in a way that kept me breathless
Still
Pa
If only alcohol caused amnesia by csunshineart, literature
Literature
If only alcohol caused amnesia
And tonight I hope I don't dream of you
Dream of all the pain this has put me through
Tonight I make a toast to you
I drank away the feelings I felt for you
I drink away the anger and depression
I drink away all I knew of you
And god give me that bliss
That amnesia shall befall me and I forget
A smile and a laugh
A touch and a kiss
And you enter my dreams
And I wake up the more miserable
At least if I could get you out of my head
At least if I could do that much
I wish to have never felt for you
The things I did
I wish they would all bundle up and burn away
And I try to forget
I force your pictures out
I trash and discard.
Picture this: his arms around me. Us panting.
Imagine: the stale taste of champagne in the back of my throat. The moon outside the window. The smell of cheap cologne. His hair on my face. His breath on my neck.
I don't know why I agreed. Maybe so he will never forget me. What I mean to say is: there is no love in his eyes. So, why agree? If there's no love, I mean. Maybe I just want to be a good friend.
Unanticipated
Unanticipated, as I showered
today, I watched long black strands of your hair
coil like water snakes toward the drain,
whipping their muscular way
toward the sewer, slipping through
the surge, singing silent songs of entropy
as they left me to cry
over the scent of your shampoo and the pitted
razor blades that did not leave with you
when death came to take you from our house
and, before the kitchen felt
my feet and fingers searching for
routine, before the bed unmade me
more than yesterday, I again
turned down the frames of you Id
set atop the shelves wed hung
to
It is weird to come back to my old deviantart. I no longer write poetry. When I look back on it all I was a really broken person when I wrote these entries. I recognize the pain and depression I was in when I wrote it no matter how bad the poetry was written. I went in an deleted any poetry about my ex husband just because he was a completely toxic and abusive person that I do not want reminders of at all. I can look back on the rest and acknowledge the pain that came with these writings, and I am so damn thankful I am not that person anymore. I am more self-assured at this date and time, and I can say overall that I am happy. I realize
Listing ten things i like with the letter H i got from ivalyn.
1. Hand Holding :D
2. Hot food :D
3. Hearting people <3
4. Ham Sandwhiches
5. Holy water to splash in the eyes of enemies :D
6. Home
7. My Hat with the ear flaps :D
8. My hello kitty blanket
9. Hating evil villains :P
10. Hand me down books :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W from Ivy.
1. Wingless Birds :D
2. Watermelons Deliciousness
3. Warm blankets on cold nights.
4. White tank tops
5. Witty People
6. Wacky people :D
7. Welcome Home mats
8. Won ton soup very nice :D
9. Weebles those little beans that rocked back and forth :D
10. Water sp